Tonight

This posting is about how our "witness" is not about us, but rather about others.

I'm not sure where to start with this but it seems that in most cases that if I ramble that I somehow say every thing the right way the first time.

I'm finishing my second to last week of truckdriving, I'll be home probably by the time this is published. Tonight I am in Chetopa Kansas, a town not too far from the Missouri/Oklahoma state lines. I have a delivery here in-town that I was hoping to make tonight. The way that the facility is that I'm delivering to, you have to take a two-lane road and hope that the gate is open further down the road. If the facility is closed and therefor also the gate, you have no choice but to drive the full-length of 14 miles before you can turn around again. This being my first (and probably last) time here to this facility, wasn't aware of this. I called the plant ahead of my arrival, but being as it was closed, it was of no help. You can count all of this as a preface to the story.

I took the turn onto the highway that has the gate to the facility. Seeing that I had no choice but to continue on down the road, I kept going and going, all fourteen miles of it. I reached a small intersection and was able to maneuver myself into a U-turn, not always an easy thing to do in a semi.

I started my way back to Chetopa, thinking about all of the events through the day that had raised my stress and made me wonder what my purpose was. I thought about the gusts of forty mile an hour wind; the beating sun on my truck, it may be 60 degrees outside but the sun can make a driver feel like meat in a microwave; the frustration of potholes and cracks in pavement; the loneliness of the open road. I don't write all of this to induce sympathy, but just to show a relation that everyone feels. Whether you are a secretary for a company or a driver of a truck, we all wonder if we are here on this earth for a productive reason.

I finally came past the plant and sure enough I could tell for certain this time, I'd have to wait till the morning. So after my thirty minute detour, I decided to go a little further into town to a place where I saw a restaurant and some truck parking. I learned later the the restaurant is named "The Hornet's Nest".

I parked my truck in the mostly empty lot and waited to see if there was any movement in the building. I didn't see any signs of life, but once I saw an SUV park in their parking lot I figured I couldn't lose much.

I met the tail end of the trio that came out of the SUV at the entrance of the establishment. Two women and a boy of about six years of age. He reminded me alot of myself. Wide-eyed and full of optimism. The two women had ordered and the boy(Matthias) interjected that he wanted a rootbeer. I thought that a good idea and asked for the same to compliment a BLT that I had ordered. The trio had sat down. The waitress handed me my drink and as the order would take some time I looked for places to sit. I chose a booth that was next to theirs.

I liked Matthias and wanted to enjoy more of his happy personality.

I had only just asked if it was alright if I could sit there when the boys mother apologized for her dishevelment. I told her that I understood and thought nothing of it.

A conversation quickly began that spanned her lifetime in only a matter of minutes. A quick summation. I asked her what her church history was, she let me know that she has been raised Pentecostal and had married a young Pentecostal man in her youth. She let me know that she had two other children with him, both in their mid teens.

She continued to confide in me about her life and how it had become something outside of her control, that she felt abased and contrite but yet still felt that there was great distance between her and a relationship with God.

This was not a private conversation. There were several people that were able to hear this conversation, but were not a part of it.

I don't relay this story with the intent of glorifying myself, or exploiting this woman's situation. The intent of this story is to show that even I as an insignificant truck driver with limited social contact still have a place in God's plan and design.

I know that I seek the Lord, that he leads me and uses me in his own surprising way. I don't count myself as a prideful man, but after seeing the genuine love and humility in this woman's eyes for God, I truly feel deeply lacking in facets of my faith that I had no idea were there and void. I have few words that can describe the depth of this woman's faith. I genuinely seek to recreate it in my life. I have not seen it but a few times in all of the places that I have travelled to.

Our conversation lasted probably 25-35 minutes, it was deep and healthy. Two Pentecostals talking about their faith. As the conversation came to it's end, she related her fear of sinning and was uncertain of what the future held for her. I told her to repeat back to me something I have come to understand. "The life of a saint is lonely". I could write an entire post on that alone. I told her that when she felt weak to remember our conversation. I still don't know her name, but I'm sure the tears she cried at the table tonight are in a vial in heaven. Psalm 56:8.

I probably could have written this better or may have said too little/too much, but the point is once again, she was very thankful for me to be there and listen to her and to giver her advice. If I had changed any aspect of my day or even if I lacked the faith that God would use me as he saw fit, I could have very-well lost that opportunity to bring someone struggling in their life back to God. If I had not been inconvenienced by my half-hour detour, I would have completely missed her.

When you are upset about traffic or being late to work, or feeling uneasy about an appointment you have, remember this-The Lord Is Using You For His Kingdom. Even in discomfort and displeasure we are witnesses for His sake.

Tonight has much to teach me about a genuine relationship with God.

Elizabeth and I are the only "Porters" that we really know, but the heart of this woman is what every Porter everywhere should strive for.

I gave her the link for this blog, I pray that we hear from her. I know that the Lord is using her and has plans for her in His design. She'll be a reliable example for her son.

-Michael McCartan