Pain

I learned something tonight that hurt me terribly.

A great friend in my youth, a person though younger than me by atleast five years, always seemed more grounded and wiser than me, has left the flock and has also become a part of the homosexual agenda, it appears that he cohabitates with a man that he seems to be in a relationship with.

This struck me with shock.

The last I had known about my friend was that he was attending college in St. Louis to become a youth pastor. He had many connections and friends doing what they could to support him, let alone a home church that was very happy for him.

I'm not certain what happened between then, a number of years ago, and now.

When we spent time together I wondered to myself what his family would look like in the future. What kind of spectacular wife he would have. How much more accomplished his children would be than even him. These things won't happen. That hurts. I counted him as an altruistic friend that was always benevolent.

Like I said, I'm not sure what happened between then and now, as we haven't been in touch for a while. I always expected him to come back to town, but he hasn't. He's still in St. Louis. I know he has many more people in his life who's opinion's and feeling's matter much more than mine, however I can't shake the hurt. In a youth group that didn't always look to the light, he was a reliable leader that knew holy from unholy.

I can't condone sin. But I do love my brother in Christ, even as a sinner. We are all sinners and fall short of the grace of Yah. But He has mercy and has afforded us salvation through Yeshua.
I will always have love in my heart for this friend of mine.

I had been thinking about the topic of homosexuality and if I wanted to address it on this blog. Many people think ( especially in this "modern" age) that to reject sin is to reject the sinner. What some people don't consider is that it is possible for ourselves to be rejected by the sinner. When I learned of my friends decision, it compelled me to post this blog. I pray that my words are not abrasive and that although they may be received with dissuasion from this individual, that he will still consider my love and appreciation for the place he took in my life while we were young.

I've not been active on my FB for what has been several years so this has only now come to my attention. As it has come to my attention, and the technology we have today is a new thing, I am struggling with what I should do about a friendship I felt in my heart. Should I remove him as a friend and send a clear message? Or do I keep him and continue to pray for him? Granted if I am to say anything about my hurt, he is prone to take me off of his list of friends. I believe I have made a decision but I will wait on it for a week or less, depending on correspondence over the course of this week.

At the end of the day, I know this: Yah would not accept it, and He would chastise him for his immorality.

I don't feel it's my place to chastise said friend. Though maybe that's me being weak as a Christian.

My hurt comes from seeing that in this world that a great holy leader has been lost, and that in the world to come I won't see him at the gate. From all appearances his heart is not repentant. Though he does still have a vast amount of content on his page with regards to his church. Some people have responded to him in less than holy ways, albeit those same people are not what I would consider followers of Yeshua as of today.

I know that this individual is intimately familiar with the Word of God and that what I am about to write is nothing new to him. But to have a clean conscience I have to write it anyway.

Leviticus 18:22 KJV

Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

or more clearly from the NLT

Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.

And here is a more vivid illustration from an outspoken Paul.
Romans 1:18-32 NLT

18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness.* 19 They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.

21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. 22 Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools. 23 And instead of worshiping the glorious, ever-living God, they worshiped idols made to look like mere people and birds and animals and reptiles.

24 So God abandoned them to do whatever shameful things their hearts desired. As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. 25 They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator himself, who is worthy of eternal praise! Amen. 26 That is why God abandoned them to their shameful desires. Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. 27 And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved.

28 Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. 29 Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. 30 They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. 31 They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. 32 They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.

 

 

 

Also,

 

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Don't you realize that those who do wrong will not inherit the Kingdom of God? Don't fool yourselves. Those who indulge in sexual sin, or who worship idols, or commit adultery, or are male prostitutes, or practice homosexuality, or are thieves, or greedy people, or drunkards, or are abusive, or cheat people-none of these will inherit the Kingdom of God. Some of you were once like that. But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. (NLT)

 

1 Timothy 1:8-10 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine ... (ESV)

 

 

These verses are not written in hate. They are holy scripture. I do not hate my brother for losing his private fight with temptation. The Word says that if we hate our brother, he have not the love of the messiah. In fact that verse, 1st John 3:15 equates hate to being a murderer. I love my brother, and that is why I petition his choice.

 

 

 

I can't help but battle at the same time with a commandment that I am not fully versed in, that of shunning. I know that it is scriptural, through and through, but not having examples of holy shunning makes it a little difficult to follow a safe path with it.

 

Here are the verses regarding shunning. A topic I have avoided till present and may be able to better elloquate in the future, but certainly not at present.

 

I was going to just quote 1st Corinthians 5:11-13. But after reading the chapter, the entirety should really be read.

 

From Matthew 18:15-17 NIV

15 "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. 16 But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

 

The Word of God truly is clear on the matter.

 

I don't blame my friend for looking at the world the way he does. Things have changed drastically in the last thirty years. I'm not sure how youth these days can try to stay pure with all of the evil around them. There are so few people even from my generation that are pure, not to mention the fact that more and more of the people that were pure at one point in time, have now fallen by the wayside. It hurts and it is genuinely sad. And many of these people would still call themselves saints, even though they choose to no longer "be separated" from "the world".

 

In a day of self-worship steeped in materialism and church buildings that are more entertainment centers than institutes of salvation, where is a stray sheep to turn? When the media barrages the public through a bullhorn trifecta of radio, TV, and internet-todays churches whisper from across town to turn from sin. When I look at today's generation turning from Christ, I don't judge them, I could easily be one of them. Their falling away is not their fault. I know who the liability rests on, and I know in all my soul that those same individuals would never hold themselves accountable, much less lift a finger to save said soul.

 

Today's generation has nothing to contrast materialism with, it is what they believe to be "normal", it is "their normal". Individuals of age, have it as their responsibility to enlighten today's generation that there is a choice, and that every decision they make-whether it be which shoes to wear or whom to associate with- is a decision that they have complete control over. That popularity is not the answer, but rather integrity and perseverance.

 

I'll end this with Matthew 7:15 KJV

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.

 

Take heed to whom you listen. Not all in the church are saints.

Happy Marriage Day!

We took this picture in the sand of a California beach. Your marriage should be your second most important focus of everyday. Second only to your walk with God.

Marriage is intended to be a happy union. There will be times of "intense fellowship", but overall a marriage should not be founded on straight faces, frowns, or discomfort in general.

Elizabeth and I have been married over six years now and every day we both do what we can to make the other smile. Everyone on this earth will only liv once, what's the point of living a life that is unpleasant. The happier you are, the healthier you will be and in return the longer you will liv. 

Elizabeth and I had been married for a while when I made the observation that there is no nationally celebrated "Marriage Day". We have many other "Days" in this country. We've got mothers, fathers, and even grand-parents day. But I've never heard anyone reference "Marriage Day". So with rebellion against a country that doesn't honor marriage as it used to be; I decided that we would make our own "Marriage Day". So with love in our heart and smiles on our faces we have always gotten much pleasure from celebrating our "Happy Marriage Day".

What day of the year do we celebrate our Marriage Day?

Is it our anniversary?

No

Is it the first of the year?

No

Is it a randomly chosen day of the year?

No

Our Marriage Day is every day that we are together.

We let each other know that we are enjoying a moment together when we say, "Happy Marriage Day!". We don't need an instituted Holy-Day for us to recognize each other out of formal obligation. Instead we choose to let each other know that we don't take each other for granted. Being genuine is the most heartfelt satisfaction that one can have, it's especially strong when our intentions can't be misinterpreted as "obligatory".

This is a special thing that Elizabeth and I share between us but I encourage you to do the same.

Sometimes we say it daily, and other times we might say it once or twice a week. It always makes us smile when the other person surprises us with it. It's a genuine exchange between us that isn't derived from pop-culture.

Always value your marriage, NEVER say the "D" word and do all you can to make yourself a better person in the marriage. When "intense fellowship" arises, be wise and take time to think about what has passed. If you still feel that they are in the wrong or have a habit that needs to be fixed before it passes to the next generation, bring it up when spirits are light. Loving spouses care about their children and understand that only the other spouse can truly help them to raise a better generation through improving themselves and each other.

Take critiques seriously and commit them to heart. You'll raise a beautiful family if you do.

It's easy to become angry when someone critiques us, remember it's not an enemy, it's a "life-partner". Life being the important word. Intense fellowship will help the two of you to better understand how to communicate as adults and to better understand the personal needs of each other as well as boundaries that may not seem so obvious.

Love your spouse. You should be married to your best friend. Treat them as such. When you are feeling rushed, look in their eyes for an "extended moment" and just let them know you love them. Enjoy the small moments together. Those are the valuable things in your life that no one can take away.

This part is solely for the men.

Look into your wives eyes.  Deeply.  Until you can see her soul.  Then take in all the information that doing such will give you. You'll better understand her needs and also why she may not always do all the things you want to.

For both husbands and wives.

Read "The Five Love Languages".

It's that simple. Learn which ways in which your spouse conveys and receives love and refine it over and over until the two of you are both satisfied with how each of you receives and conveys love.

A small story. Part of my personality makes it so that I enjoy surprises. That is one of the love languages. Elizabeth on the other hand prefers to have everything planned. It's part of her accountant personality. When we first were married I had to learn that Elizabeth didn't appreciate surprises because they changed the parameters of what she was dealing with at any time. I on the other hand had to educate her that I love surprises. Unpredictability makes me feel young and healthy. It took her a while to learn to come out of her "box", but ultimately she found ways to let me know she loved me by appealing to such. Likewise I had to find ways to go against my nature by planning things that we could do together. It was weird for me. I always prefer to do things off-the-cuff. I'm not sure if I'm doing well enough, but it's having that thought in my head that matters. There is always tomorrows marriage day.

Communication is the most important aspect of a marriage. Second is love.

If you are married to your best friend you should be able to talk about anything. You may have to wait till the right time, but still there shouldn't be any topic off-limits. When you talk, talk with love-without raising your voice. Resorting to raising your voice shows that you've already lost control and are not willing to talk person to person. Being an adult means that sometimes you have to concede and to change. Change.

Doing these things will teach your children what "normal" is supposed to be. That's important for your health, your spouses health, your children's health, and societies health in general.

Being angry, yelling, or not talking to your spouse is not normal. Seek Normal. It's what is healthy.

You will have happiness in your life and in your marriage when you have self-accountability.

When having intense-fellowship, I strong encourage you to hug each other and then to take a break to reassess what transpired. You may likely find that there was nothing to be gained and that likely it was simply an ego, either of yours or theirs, that was getting in the way. When they have the humility to concede error, don't have the arrogance to say "I told you so", or anything of the like. There is no profit in that. Be married and make each other better people. If you or your spouse concedes error, simply love each other and give each other a sincere hug. This is what is normal.

 Being defensive is unhealthy and can blind you to what or whom is truly in error.

With Christian Love, blessed with the gift of salvation from God and our Father, I pray for blessings of the Lord our Savior to be abundant in your marriage. Be Humble. Husbands, be the head of your house by example. Wives, understand your place in the home. A man may not always be able to communicate how he feels disrespected, but he will always know WHEN he feels disrespected.

Humility and submission will heal any bruise.

Two smiles to leave you with.



The Blessings of New Life

The Blessings of New Life

 

“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” John 16:21

 

I must start this posting by stating I had a very easy pregnancy. The morning sickness was mostly isolated to a few weeks in August as we traveled to Colonial Williamsburg and back. I did have lots of swelling despite being on the Brewer Diet. My only other complaint would be the emergence of the dreaded PUPPS rash all over my stomach during the last two months; the intense itching was terrible. My only forms of relief were using black tar pine soap and drinking dandelion root tea. The tea helped the most. 

 

As my estimated due date approached, many people started asking if I was afraid of giving birth naturally. Most of the people I worked with were very uneducated about homebirths and many made predictions that I would ultimately beg to go to the hospital. To be quite honest, I was not afraid. I had stayed away from the “What to Expect” books (don’t ever buy these as a gift) and had focused on reading positive homebirth stories and hypnobirthing methods. Ultimately, the hypnobirthing was thrown out the window as it promised that I would not be in pain. I was in ALOT of pain.

 

I went into labor on Sunday with irregular contractions which I misinterpreted as Braxton Hicks; they soon escalated into 10 minute apart contractions the next day. By 8 pm on Monday night, the contractions were under five minutes apart. Unfortunately, it was excruciating back labor as the baby was trying to turn. She had been in the correct position (head down, face down) for the last three months but had turned during the last week (head down, face up). I took multiple showers and had Michael rub my back during each contraction just trying to get a bit of relief. My midwife checked me around 11:00 pm and I was only dilated to 3. She left around 2:00 that morning to get some sleep but the baby had other plans. My water broke at 5:30 am in a big gush and I told Michael to fill up the birthing pool.

 

After my midwife arrived, I was only at a 5. At that point, I started to get pretty discouraged. I was still experiencing back labor and by the time 9:00 rolled around, I was spent. I dozed between the contractions. Sometimes, there was enough of a lull that I could fall asleep but then the contraction would be twice as long and twice as hard. I was exhausted and needed relief. The midwife checked me again around 9:30 and I was only at a 7. I wanted to cry at that point.

 

She did give me some hope, though. If I could keep from pushing for the next half an hour, she would help thin my cervix manually or use some evening primrose oil. I clutched to that hope and ran with it. After what seemed like hours of contractions, I asked “How much longer?” It had only been 10 minutes. That was disappointing but I knew the end was near. The apprentice and my husband offered some much needed encouragement.

 

At this point, I asked my husband to pray over us once more as we began the final legs of our journey. It was such a special moment for me to have my husband there to not only offer encouragement but spiritual guidance as well.

 

Around 10:00, she manually pushed the rolled lip of my cervix back during several contractions and immediately, there was relief. I could feel the baby start to go down the birthing canal! Each contraction was bringing me closer to seeing my child! I found new energy and was very excited. Another eternity went by but soon I felt a very bad burning sensation and my midwife told me to reach down to feel the baby’s head. I remember saying that I didn’t want to (mostly because I was so focused on getting it out!) but she convinced me to take a break and let my body stretch. I reached down in the water and felt an immense amount of hair waving back and forth in the pool. Like seaweed in the ocean….

 

I joked that if the baby had that much hair, think of the beard it must have!

 

We were certain we were having a son,

 

A few more big pushes and I felt a huge gush! The baby was out! The midwife caught the baby and handed it to me. Michael and my mother-in-law gathered behind me and we all just couldn’t believe there was this crying, slippery baby with tons of hair. It was such an amazing feeling of relief. I remember saying over and over “Hi baby, it’s okay!” After a few minutes, the midwives were asking me to check on the gender of the baby and to our surprise it was a girl! What a wonderful gift from God.

 

The next few hours were a blur. I remember taking some Hem Halt, being lifted out of the pool, and placed next to the fireplace while we waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing, the placenta to deliver and stitching up a small tear. Various members of Michael’s family stopped by to see the baby and soon the midwives and my mother-in-law packed up their bags. Our little family was alone for the first time.

 

 

 

 

Takeaways for first time moms:

• When shopping for a midwife, think about what you need from her on your birthing journey. Are you one of those who ask lots of questions and want scientific answers? Do you need a cheerleader when that day comes? Ask for a client list. Call some of those clients and ask questions about the midwife – not their birth story. Everyone I talked to said the midwife I used was great and amazing but she wasn’t what I needed when that day came. I needed a cheerleader offering encouragement during every contraction and I was left discouraged more than once when I saw my midwife ignoring my pleas. I am thankful that I had a husband who stepped into that role.
• Ask about her methods for turning babies, dietary recommendations, and exercise regimens. My midwife did not know of any ways to turn a baby – others can. It may not have worked but we could have at least tried them. Having a child is comparable to running a marathon – you need to train for the big day. I wish I would have done more exercise than walking.
• Childbirth does hurt but there is a quote that I clung to: “The power and intensity of your contractions cannot be stronger than you, because it is you. - Unknown” Each contraction is one closer to bringing you to your baby. Embrace them and celebrate the end of each one.
• Don’t starve yourself during the birth. I did because I wasn’t hungry and have had a hard recovery. Force yourself to eat. Make smoothie ice cubes with a bit of avocado to keep up your energy. Drink chlorophyll water.
• Educate yourself. Do you want the Vitamin K shot and the eye drops for your child? We chose not to do either. Even if you have a hospital birth, you can opt out of these things. Let the placenta completely quit pulsing before the cord is severed. Newborns need this extra blood in their system. If you test positive for Group B strep, there are natural ways of combating this. Look for natural alternatives in everything you do – your baby will thank you for it.

 

Tips for newborns:

• Be sure to wake them up to eat in the beginning. Abigail wanted to sleep a lot and I thought it was just because of having a hard labor. She actually had jaundice and that can cause them to sleep too much.
• Co-sleeping has been the best thing for us. No blankets on the bed for the first few months. After that, be sure to have separate blankets for you and your spouse. Abigail always snuggles up underneath my arm and I have a light blanket covering the two of us.
• Clean around the umbilical cord during each diaper change with a Q-tip and water. Dry it with the other end. Continue after the cord falls off. If it starts looking reddish after the cord falls off, clean and slather with antibacterial ointment.
• Do not clean your child during the first week. Let the vernix soak into the skin. After that, you can wash the baby twice a week with a mild soap like Dr. Bronners. Be sure to get into the rolls around their neck and open their hands…it is a hiding spot for lint. If you cannot get them to open their hands, try stroking the back of the hand.
• Use reusable diapers to save money and as a healthy alternative for your child. We have not had a single case of irritation or diaper rash. There are many reviews out there and find what works best for your family. I currently use Diaper Safaris with Organic Indian pre-folds (Diaper Safari’s inserts are too bulky for daytime use) and Lalabye Baby diapers. I bought them from http://www.ecobabybuys.com/. They send daily emails with featured products at huge discounts. You may not get to choose from many colors or styles, but you can save a lot of money this way on baby products.

 

I will be posting a list of baby essentials for new moms/baby shower gift ideas as well as useful home remedies later. At this point, Abigail wears store-bought onesies and hand-me-down clothes. Soon, I will be making plain dresses for the upcoming bigger sizes and plan to post sewing tutorials. Please let me know if you have any other topics you would like for me to post on!

Abigail Grace, May 7th 2013

Elizabeth Ann and I are so thrilled to announce the birth of our daughter Abigail Grace. Weight 8 pounds 6 ounces. She was born at 10:50 a.m. With a full head of hair! Elizabeth gave birth to Abigail at our home naturally and without any medications.

Covering Thy Head

In the six years that I have been covering my hair, I have tried many different veiling styles. At first, I started with a simple, white lace veil. At the time, I associated myself as Pentecostal and many of the girls at school asked me if it was part of my religion that I start covering myself with a "wedding veil" a certain number of months before the wedding. I knew that this wasn't working for me and had to rethink and seek God's will of what my covering was supposed to be like.

* I want to take this moment to pause and remind the women reading this posting that I feel the type of covering I wear is something that I feel God has led me personally to - I do not feel that this is the type of veil for every individual. He led me to this and it is also approved by my husband.

For most of the last six years, I have worn the Darted Veil from Plain and Simple, which usually drapes down between my shoulder blades: Darted Veil

Although I have ordered blue veils in the past, I have almost always worn black as a personal preference but I also believe that white should be reserved for those that are unmarried.

Helpful links:
Quaker Jane - Great discussion about things to consider before taking up the covering (or bonnet in her case)

Covered4Him - Wonderful long veils

Plain and Simple Coverings - Excellent selection and articles about putting up your hair in different styles of buns

Modestly Covered - I just found this Etsy shop a few weeks ago - beautiful long veils

We Have A Prayer Closet!

I make this statement not to boast, as a closet can be of any size or in any part of one's home. It's just a great feeling when one can liv by their convictions and Biblical commands.

It's probably a simple 3'x4' closet adjoining our bathroom. It has a simple padded prayer bench.

It is convenient, quiet,  and solitary. There isnothing ostentatious about it. It is a simple place to have genuine prayer with God.

I've not taken a foto of it yet, I will try to post one later.

Worse Than An Infidel

1 Timothy 5:8

King James Version (KJV)

⁸ But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

I would hate to think that one day after feeling that I had pursued the Lord with all my heart, that a simple and fairly unmentioned verse like this could be used as a reason for my rejection when I try to enter heaven.  For me, being a husband and a father is a very serious responsibility. I do all I can in my ability to make sure my wife is happy and provided for.  I will, as my biblical responsibility, do the same when I become a father. I am currently 29 years old, I've desired to be a father for 10 years now, so when that time comes I will be very thankful and will do all in my power to make sure that my sons and daughters feel that they are fully and fairly provided for.

I discussed with Elizabeth the idea of providing for our children so that they are financially stable when they leave our home. I told her that I desired to put away 100$ per month/per child till they reached the age of twenty or they got married, whichever came first.

She agreed that it was a good and feasible idea. Our desire is that if saints join us, that they would likewise honor this tradition. And for those that already have children it is not too late to start. Children should appreciate any thoughtful consideration put their way.

Fully the idea is that if two Porter youth intend to marry, they will jointly have roughly 45-50,000$ to spend on their home to establish them with as little debt as possible. Materially that is the greatest blessing a father can give his child, whether it be the father of the son or of the daughter, both are called to provide for his respective child.

With the said son having been taught a trade and also having been helped financially in this matter, he should be readily able to succeed in any venture he undertakes to provide for his wife and future children.

It should go without saying that the money provided for the children does not necessarily need to be spent on the house alone. It can/ could also be spent on tools/livestock/kitchen equipment and so on. The ideal is what is important, not so much how the money is utilized.